again and again ..

why must it be liddat ?
why am i always the one ?
why me ?
why are you depriving me again & again ?
why are you doing this ?
i am keeping silent for the past few episodes ..
but ,
this is the last one .
why can i watch it in peace ?

why must you be the extra one ?
why must you follow ?
im not sure if you know that im disliking you .
but why do you keep irritating me ?
why must your actions affect me ?
why must you let my disliking continue ?
do you want me to hate you before you can stop all this ?
what must i do ?
i am tired ..
i really am ..
just tell me what i need to know before you can stop irritating me ?
just what is it ?
and why ?
why must you disturb me ?
most of all ,
why are you like this ?

what have i done wrong ?
have i done anything wrong ?
do you have to be like this ?
does it cost you your life to let me watch ?
must you comment on anything i do ?
is it your problem ?
must you care ?
why ?
i have suffered enough ..
you are seriously driving me mad ..
i know i cant scold you right in the face .
need you to be like this ?
must you vent your frustrations on me ?
i want an answer ..

they can play .
i cant .
never mind .
i studying ,
he come out watch tv .
he studying ,
i cant watch tv .
never mind .
his results are lik SH!T ,
my problem again !
come and blame me .
my results bad ,
did i even blame you ?

my june holidays ,
he come disturb me when i studying .
no one scolded him .
he studying ,
i ask him / talk to him ,
i kena scolded .

i wonder ..
what if his PSLE T-score is lik crap ?
my fault again ?

i cant scold them ..
i scold them ,
my ah mah scold / say me back .
JUST,
what have i done ?

i am afraid ..
what if i cant stand it ?
what if i do something drastic when i cant stand it ?
what if ..
i hope not ..

i cant have peace in that house .
that house of nightmares .
i feel that im being unfairly treated .

maybe i should not care lik my brather .
maybe ..

i tried .
i almost succeeded .
i can ignore someone's words .
but i cant ignore the other person's actions & words ..
they are just annoying me ..
again & again ..
i always never believe that the world is unfair ..
but ,
now that i had all these treatment ......................

i can feel how unfair this world is ..

the movie starts at 2 on friday .
shooting ends at 12.45 pm ..
&
because she say that i can make it ,
and i dun think i can ..
i have to rush home to have my lunch ..
eat and change ..

ITS ME AGAIN !
IM AT THE LOSING END AGAIN !
because 'he' has tuition at 6 ..
because 'she' asked 'him' to go
&
'she' said no problem when i was asked if it was gonna be a rush ..
ITS ME THAT IS GIVING OUT AGAIN ..
i wonder when it could stop ..
maybe im not really the pathetic ones ..
i hope im not .

lastly ,
i demand the answers to the questions i asked ..
Me and not him .
'she' says that 'he' has not been watching any movies .
& please ,
we invited him .
he rejected it .
now because of this stupid reason ,
its my problem again ..
haii ..
when can this stop ?

wishing upon the stars .