Unfair-ness. Why?

Why do i feel so hungry even after dinner?

no, the reason is because i'm having a super hard time. For all you know, you may only be seeing an empty side of me. No longer the old me you've known.

yes, i cannot comment in front of you.

no, not because you said cannot. But yes, i'm forced to. No reasons were given to me. Nothing was said to me.

yes, you're lucky that i understand your surroundings.

yes, you're still so stubborn. You still stick to the only fact that NO means NO.

no, i don't really understand why sometimes you lie or run away from the question each time i asked you.

yes, i really don't understand. Why is it always like that?

To be frank, i was giving myself excuses. More & more excuses. Why? You never knew.

You thought that those excuses were real. But in truth, they're merely & simply easy excuses. I thought i could just get away from the real problem.

Truth is, i'm lying. That's not mainly the reason. That's just because i'm afraid. I'm so afraid of losing my temper in front of them, i'm scared to do something wrong.

Times & times i had to control. I knew what i would be facing if that were to happen is tons and tons of questions. Asking.

I'm scared to go back to that house. That lifeless home. That dark & frightening home.

No, that's not a home. That's a jail -- Dark & scary.

I hope i'll be able to find an excuse for not going back to that jail tomorrow.

Basically, i'm trying so hard to escape. I don't understand why must we always take a step back when he's in the wrong. A 1-year old kid could tell the right from the wrong.
Furthermore, why must we when you told me that half of the house belongs to us? Let me ask you this :

Then, don't we deserve half of everything? As in, half of having not always being the one who steps back? why?
Yes, this life is unfair.

Imagine this.
She doesn't care or doesn't even say anything when they fight over the TV. However, when i don't wish to talk to that selfish jerk, she said something.
She said '' why don't you want to talk/reply him? ''
& went on " he's your cousin. he's got no siblings.''
Is it my fault?
Is this what you ever wanted?

I do hope to fall on snow now.
Cold.
Numb that feeling.
yes. CRAP. it's always been like this. Nothing changes. So be it.
i've been living with all this nonsense. Bias-ness.
it hurts to be unfair.
Yet they didn't know.