Leaving me with uncertainty.

^^ School today is fine.
Yooohooo.
Okay, i seriously have nothing to post other then this,

She takes us as dirt. I remembered Ziying telling me this,
I hate people who, when he/she wants you, treats you well. But when you're no longer needed, pushes you and kicks you aside.

Yes, this is what is contradicting me.
If she wasn't my grandma, i would've hated her. Now, taking her status and age into consideration, will i or can i be able to hate her?
I dunno. It leaves this question without an answer and i feel terrible from running away from this. Each time i step into that house, no matter how well i treat her, it still never helps. It never heals.
I still feel sad, disappointed and frustrated.
Why?

I really wish to let it go and start anew, but is it possible?