This foolish thing,

-
I sound like a shameless bitch here, don't read it. You'll all get -
What!
The!
Fuck!



My heart piang-ed at the sight of this.
Maybe i shouldn't have told her that i loved him.
Or.
Should i be happy on a lighter note?
That, someone related to me loves him.
I know, not that they're gonna be together or something.
I don't know why but i'm always having a bad feeling when someone extra's added.
Yahduh yahduh.
He's not mine.
He won't like me.
He won't be mine.
But, just that bad feeling.
Don't know, i feel damn sad all of a sudden.
Like i've been sent from heaven to hell.
Just a sudden plunge from high to low.

I get all hopeful when he updates his blog.
Get all down and crappy when i'm so hopeful that he'd update.
Nah, he didn't. And i get all crashed down.
Get so disturbed when he's account got hacked into.
I wonder who's the pro.
I wanna be one.
Then he can catch me.

Maybe its pointless to even like him till this state.
I tried to numb by revolving my life around R.
R is gonna be gone in a matter of seconds.
I really did felt numb when my life revolved around R.
Yet, when i let R go, it came back.
All these pointless shit of mixture of feelings.
I'm so angry at myself.
Love is blind.
I get so mad.
I found faults in him.
I knew he's not perfect.
I knew i could've loved and concentrated all my energy on one boy - kim jaejoong.
Who is so much better than him.

It's easy to say.
Yet it's a million times harder than what it takes to be done.
It's already with him.
My heart.